I've just been having a weird week. School has become very different all of the sudden. It's not really harder, just different. It's become way more in-depth. I don't know if the whole graduate thing is finally hitting me, but everything seems deeper and more meaningful. I feel overwhelmed and unprepared to handle these changes. Am I ready to face these challenges? Am I really worthy of this knowledge? I'm having an odd internal struggle.
This doesn't have to do with whether I should continue or not; I want to (and will) continue with school because I love school. Perhaps it's the responsibility of having all of this knowledge; I'll never be the same again (people said it would happen, but I had no idea!) Maybe I'm just realizing that it's time to get my committee together for my project which is making it scary and real; it's no longer the thing in the distance that I'll complete someday before I graduate. It's the project that is here and now, the project that needs to be worked on. It's time for me to actually apply my new found knowledge and skills and it scares the daylights out of me! I guess this struggle is all part of the journey that will one day lead to educating others (but for now, it's driving me nuts!)
"Everything in life is only for now..."
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